


Fall Apart

by IsaacTheGreat69



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Virgil, Breakups, Human AU, M/M, depression and recovery, vent fic, very brief mention of self harm at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-06-29 02:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15719793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaacTheGreat69/pseuds/IsaacTheGreat69
Summary: Virgil woke up late on a Monday morning to a jarring message from his... Boyfriend.





	1. Konagona

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a vent-fic for my recent breakup. Sorry  
> Roman is my ex, Virgil is me, and Logan is my friend  
> Surprisingly, when I was thinking back on this day, the association between real person and fictional character seemed obvious  
> also the name of the first chapter is (supposedly) Japanese for "shatter"

Virgil sat on his bed, staring at the screen of his laptop with a soft numbness that had settled in his bones hours ago when he’d first realized what happened. It was 11 PM and he’d been sitting in his room, in the dark, since he’d woken up to the messages on his computer. 

It was summer break - well, as much of a break as you get between summer semester and fall semester, which was 3 weeks - and he’d barely heard from his boyfriend the past couple weeks. He knew that Roman had gone out of state to visit an old friend for a week, so he’d been expecting the week-long disappearance. What he hadn’t been expecting, what hurt, was that once Roman came home he ghosted Virgil for nearly two weeks. Virgil sent him messages occasionally, telling himself that Roman was just busy, or maybe he really hadn’t come home yet. Only small messages, like ‘hey, hope your day’s going well’ and ‘message me when you have the time. i love you’. He’d scarcely get a response, maybe a ‘sorry, been busy, school’s starting soon’ and that was fine. He understood. He could wait. 

At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. In the late hours of the night his anxiety whispered to him, telling him  _ ‘he’s cheating on you’ ‘he doesn’t love you anymore’ ‘he never loved you’ _ . He’d chase these thoughts away with Disney movies (something they both loved) and the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack blasting through his earbuds. When the rest of the house was dark and his mother asleep, the anxiety would chew at his stomach and make his head fuzzy.  _ ‘He finally realized that you’re not worth it. That you’re never going to put out. You knew sex was important to him and you let him lie to you because you loved him too much. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth.’ _ He’d make the voice shut up by scrolling through their messages and reading over the countless times Roman told him that he didn’t mind that Virgil was ace, that he loved him for him, not for his body, and he didn’t mind being best friends with his left hand (something Roman’s theater friends teased him with relentlessly, but it was all in good fun; they liked Virgil and were happy for Roman). 

_ 'You’re clingy. Annoying. You try too hard. Or do you not try enough? Maybe both.’  _ He’d turn off the lights, close his laptop, and cry himself to sleep because they wouldn’t stop until he finally fell unconscious. 

Almost two weeks of silence, and then, a message sent 4 hours before he woke up. 

**_ after all the thought. i can't string you along into my bullshit anymore. i just can't. i realized it's just always going to end up like this. and yeah it sounds shitty, and yeah this really fucking sucks. but honestly, i'd rather be the bad guy rather than constantly stringing you along and hurting you in the process. it's not fair to you, it's not fair to anyone. no matter how much i like you, it just can't be, unfortunately. and by all means hate me, vilify me, anything you want. i'm just not going to do this anymore. just no more of this. i'm not running away, far from that. i'm facing this rather than hoping that maybe something will change, anything, so that i can continue like nothing is wrong. i can't do it. you don't deserve this. i'm ending it before it gets too far and you get even more hurt than you are now. so this is it. this is the last time. i'm not doing this again. and you won't have to either. _ **

**__ **

Virgil had felt groggy when he opened the messenger app on his phone, but not even 20 words in, he was wide awake. He stared at the message for what felt like hours before frantically typing, his heart racing and one thought in his mind; ‘ _ no no no no no not this please anything but this’ _ . 

**_ What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me because you're gonna be busy??? Cause that’s not a problem, I get that people get busy, I’m willing to wait. Whatever this is we can work through it, can’t we? You haven’t even talked with me about it. _ **

**__ **

He felt like his world was caving in. He sat up in bed and grabbed his laptop, shakily pulling it into his lap and opening it up. The first thing that he sees once his screen lights up is Roman’s message on his Facebook tab, and he immediately opens Tumblr to distract himself. He ignores the few tears that slip, and the trembling in his hands. He tries to ignore the thoughts in his head, his doubts, how his mind screams at him  _ ‘you knew this would happen, you knew and you did nothing.’  _

It takes a couple hours of Tumblr and putting on Pocahontas to make him clam down, but he isn’t at peace. He’s numb. He watches three more movies, sitting with his laptop in front of him, and lets his mind wander. 

**__ **

_ The call had come out of nowhere. Virgil had been distracted on Tumblr, occasionally switching tabs to answer Roman on Facebook. It was a pretty normal chat, just talking about their day. Roman had spent all day with his theater friends at dress rehearsal and unwinding at one of their houses and Virgil had gone to his summer classes. He hated that he had to take them and waste his chance of a summer with Roman, but if he wanted to get his Associates next spring it had to be done.  _

_ Roman said something about calling, and Virgil had agreed, not really paying attention as he went back to tumblr. Then, his phone vibrated beside him and he picked it up, answering immediately when he noticed it was Roman.  _

_ “Hey.” He went back to scrolling as Roman replied. “Hey, Virge. I wanted to talk about something pretty serious.” Virgil hummed, sharing a post.  _

_ “Well, you know that you’re ace, and... I’m not.” Virgil blinked and paused. ”...Yeah?” _

_ There was a pause, and Virgil could imagine Roman nodding to himself on the other end. “I just wanted to... Talk about boundaries.”  _

_ Virgil clicked the down arrow on his keyboard, sharing some picture drawn by an art blog he loved. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” He didn’t understand why it was an issue. They'd been dating for six months, Roman knew Virgil was sex-repulsed, knew he wasn’t going to put out or reciprocate or even want to be... touched like that. Hell, Virgil used to vent to Roman when someone would get into that debate with him, or when a guy would break up with him over it.  _

_ “I just want to make sure that I don’t... Do something wrong. So... What’s okay to do?” _

_ Virgil sat back on his bed for a moment, chewing his lip. “Well... You know sex is out of the question...” There was a hum on Roman’s end. “And... I don’t want anyone to touch my downstairs mix-up. Just, no. I’ll never touch anyone’s... stuff either. Uh..... make-outs and cuddling are okay...”  _

_ “Okay. I just... Didn’t want us to be... y’know, and then suddenly you’re like ‘whoa, where’s that hand now?’... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”  _

_ This was kind of weird for Virgil. He’d never heard Roman so hesitant and serious. Well, he’s heard the other being serious, when it really mattered, but the way he was talking, it seemed like he was afraid to offend Virgil. “It’s fine, really. If you ever did anything I’d tell you. You know that.”  _

_ He sits up and goes back to Tumblr while Roman talks. “I guess I just ....” The rest faded out as Virgil got distracted by his laptop, not paying much attention. In the back of his mind, he felt bad. He’d never tuned out the other when they talked before; he loved hearing Roman talk. He shook his head and tried to focus on what his boyfriend was saying. _

_ ”-and I just don’t want things to get bad, or weird.” Virgil hummed and thought of what he could say. He didn’t want Roman to know he wasn’t listening... “Well... I mean, you’re seriously one of the most considerate people I know, and you know what my whole ‘deal’ is, so.. I guess I just don’t see why this is so important?” He was honestly kind of lost as to why this was a Serious Talk, capital S T, when it was old hat for them.  _

_ “I get why it’s not super important to you, ‘cause this is all old news to you, but... It’s important to me. I want to do right by you.”  _

**__ **

The next few minutes are a blur to Virgil. He can’t remember what was said now, and he doubts he even knew what was said in the moment. He’d been such an ass, tuning out Roman like that when he was obviously stressing. 

**__ **

_ “Well... Given what we’ve talked about and everything.... I think I’m going to need time to think. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel our movie date tomorrow, and I’ll be going to visit a friend out of state next week, so I can’t make that date either.” They’d had a weekly movie date since they’d gotten together, and they were rarely cancelled, since the two spent a lot of time apart, going to different colleges and all.  _

_ Virgil feels his heart sink, but he keeps his tone casual to not let Roman know. “Yeah, okay. Let me know when you’re free.” And then they hung up. Neither had said goodbye, or ‘I love you’, which they always, always did. At the time, Virgil hadn’t thought much of it.  _

Virgil scrolls through their Messenger chat silently, reading over the messages, trying to think of where he went wrong, what he missed. He scoffs at an unanswered message he sent a few days before their talk.

**_ fucking-  _ **

**_ I’m literally in tears rn because my mom yelled at me _ **

**_ I was trying to talk to her but she was blasting the tv 'cause apparently she’s partially deaf when she sits in front of the tv or whatever _ **

**_ And I asked her to turn it down so she yelled _ **

**_ And I’m crying like a little bitch _ **

**__ **

Roman hadn’t answered until the next day, saying sorry for missing the message and sorry that Virgil had to go through that. 

It was the first panic attack he’d had alone since they’d gotten together, but it wasn’t the last. 

Virgil continued scrolling up, up, up. For days all he saw was him complaining. He’d been having a really bad month, and Roman had been busy with the coming play, so they almost never saw each other in person, and Virgil’s stress was making his depression and anxiety skyrocket. 

_ ‘Stupid, you’re so stupid. All you ever do is complain. No wonder he’s gotten sick of you. You’re a fucking depressing mess.'   _ Virgil wipes his eyes and keeps going.

At the beginning of the month: 

**_ Virgil: Hey _ **

**_ Roman: yo, whats up? _ **

**_ Virgil: Watching Night at the Museum _ **

**_ Virgil: You? _ **

**_ Roman: on the phone with friends _ **

**_ Virgil: Oh should I let you do that then? No worries _ **

**_ Roman: ???? _ **

**_ Roman: did you want something? _ **

**_ Virgil: I mean no, not really. Just wanted to chat _ **

**_ Virgil: But if you’re busy idm _ **

**_ Roman: i’ll call you up when i’m done _ **

**__ **

He never had. 

Virgil felt like an idiot that night. He’d cursed at himself for bothering Roman so much, for being clingy when the other was a busy, happy, normal human being with more than three friends who liked to talk to him on a normal basis because he wasn’t fucked up like Virgil was. And yet.... 

And yet, that had been the first time Roman hadn’t immediately dropped what he was doing to talk to Virgil.  _ ‘Karma’s a bitch’  _ he thinks as he keeps scrolling. 

**_ Virgil: I miss you too. ♥ _ **

**_ Virgil: Definitely having movie night tomorrow _ **

**_ Roman: yeeeeee _ **

**_ Roman: honestly are you free rn? _ **

**_ Roman: can i just waste your time for a bit? _ **

**_ Roman:  or nah  _ **

**_ Roman: that's fine if nah because i'm chill _ **

**_ Roman: chiller than ice _ **

**_ Virgil: I’m free, totally _ **

**_ Roman: nice  _ **

**__ **

He smiles slightly. Roman could be such a dork. 

**_ Virgil: I just got sad because I realized one day I’ll finish the Family Guy game _ **

**_ Roman: .... _ **

**_ Roman: i’m not judging _ **

**_ Roman: but honestly that’s so cute and silly _ **

**_ Virgil: omg _ **

**_ Roman: i shan’t tell a lie _ **

**_ Virgil: Lies. _ **

**_ Roman: pfffff _ **

**_ Roman: sure _ **

**_ Virgil: Mwahahaha _ **

**_ Roman: wow you’re in a silly mood _ **

**_ Roman: i love ur silly moods _ **

**_ Virgil: Yeah idk why honestly _ **

**_ Roman: lol rip _ **

**_ Roman: i want to experience this _ **

**_ Virgil: Rip _ **

**_ Virgil: Let’s see, what’d I do today? _ **

**_ Virgil: I drew a picture of an anemone _ **

**_ Virgil: Then I did math _ **

**_ Virgil: Then I got mad at shitty drivers _ **

**_ Virgil: Then I ate popcorn _ **

**_ Virgil: Then my mom got moody _ **

**_ Virgil: Then I ate dinner _ **

**_ Virgil: And a frosty _ **

**_ Virgil: Maybe that’s it _ **

**_ Roman: i blame the frosty _ **

**_ Virgil: lolol _ **

**_ Virgil: Guess what I just learned to play? _ **

**_ Roman: the thong song _ **

**_ Roman: gay bar _ **

**_ Virgil: lmao no _ **

**_ Roman: those are my only good guesses my dude _ **

**_ Virgil: Riptide _ **

**_ Roman: i was gonna guess that too but thought against it _ **

**__ **

Roman was the only person who never looked at him weird when he was actually  _ happy _ . He'd been with Virgil as a friend when his depression was worse than it was now, talking him through tough nights. He was the only person who never got mad at Virgil for self-harming; Roman just told him that he was sad Virgil was hurting enough that he was doing this to himself. He'd been the first to tell Virgil that he loved all the things the other hated about himself. The first to make Virgil think _maybe I'm not that fucked up after all._ Virgil had finally seen himself through someone else's eyes and actually started to like himself, if only a little. Virgil wipes the tears that’d started to fall and looks at the time. It’s well past dinner, and Virgil hasn’t eaten, but he doesn’t really want to. At some point he’d noticed that Roman had come back online, but he never responded to Virgil’s messages. He feels a small flame of anger in his chest before it’s quickly doused, and his mind starts running a mile a minute. 

_ ‘He doesn’t love you, he never did. He’s so sick of you he won’t even respond. He didn’t give you a choice because he’s done with your shit, all the complaining, the depression, the anxiety attacks over  ** nothing ** . You’re too clingy for him, and yet you’re too distant to be anything more than some ex-classmate he’d see in the hall. Who would want to be stuck with that the rest of their lives? Especially when he’s getting nothing out of it? Seriously, sex is such a huge basis of any romantic relationship, and you won’t even give him a handjob. You have nothing to offer him. It’s surprising he hasn’t left sooner.’ _

Virgil is crying openly now, breaths shuddering past his bitten lips like a breeze through an old shutter. Without thinking, he scrolls back to the most recent messages and rereads Roman’s message before writing frantically. 

 

**_ Is it because I’m ace? Because of that talk we had a few weeks ago? Or is it because I’m not a theater person? Or because I’m depressed? My anxiety? Was I too clingy? did I try too hard? Or not hard enough? What was it???  _ **

 

He hits send, but a window pops up on Facebook, telling him ‘this person isn’t available right now’. Virgil blinks as more tears fall, his chest tight. He hits send three more times, getting the same message. He’s confused; even if Roman’s offline he’s always been able to send a message. He notices his friend Logan online and opens a chat window. He’s smart, he’ll know what’s up.

 

**_ Virgil: Have you ever tried to message someone on Facebook and it tells you “this person isn’t available right now”? _ **

 

The reply is almost instant. Logan never leaves him hanging. 

 

**_ Logan: Yes. I believe it means the person has blocked you, though I cannot say with 100% certainty.  _ **

**__ **

Virgil feels the world fall away, the only thing left being the bed under his legs and the laptop in front of him as he responds. 

**_ Virgil: Oh _ **

**_ Virgil: Okay _ **

**_ Logan: They could be on Do Not Disturb. _ **

**_ Virgil: That’s Skype, not Facebook _ **

**_ Logan: Then again, Facebook was once extremely “buggy”. _ **

**_ Logan: It would give me such notifications on my laptop, but not on mobile.  _ **

**_ Logan: So don’t be too certain.  _ **

**__ **

While Logan had been typing, Virgil had opened another tab and searched “what’s it mean when facebook tells you ‘this person isn’t available right now’?”. As expected, multiple sources state that the chat has been deleted and/or the person has blocked you. Virgil gripped his shirt with one hand, chest hurting, and went back to the Facebook tab to reply to Logan.

**_ Logan: Who is it? _ **

**_ Virgil: Roman _ **

**_ Virgil: I guess we’re exes now? _ **

**_ Virgil: Though he didn’t give me a say in that _ **

**__ **

Virgil takes a deep, shaking breath.

**__ **

**_ Virgil: I just looked it up, he blocked me _ **

**_ Logan: ... _ **

**_ Logan: Wow, that was fast.  _ **

**_ Logan: May I ask what happened?  _ **

**_ Virgil: I have no fucking idea _ **

**_ Virgil: He messaged me while I was asleep _ **

**_ Logan: Oh. Well... I don’t know what to say. _ **

**_ Virgil: Hold on... _ **

**__ **

Virgil copy-pasted Roman’s last message to him into the chat with Logan and sent it. For a brief second he hoped it’d say “this person isn’t available right now” so that he’d know it was a glitch. The message sent, and Logan replied. 

**_ Logan: Oh. Shit. _ **

**__ **

Logan never swore. Ever. He was succinct, precise, only said what needed to be said in as few words as it took. He saw swear words as unnecessary. Virgil let out a choked sob before replying.

**_ Virgil: That’s what I fucking woke up to _ **

**_ Logan: I am confused. Is this because you do not spend much time together? _ **

**_ Virgil: You know, I thought that wasn’t a problem _ **

**_ Virgil: The last conversation we had that was longer than a couple of minutes was about how he’s sexual and I’m not _ **

**_ Virgil: And he wanted to know my boundaries so he doesn’t accidentally pressure me  _ **

**_ Virgil: So yeah _ **

**_ Virgil: Pretty sure it’s just another fucking person who can’t stand me being ace _ **

**__ **

A memory flashes behind his eyelids. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Roman, moments away from an anxiety attack because he was  _ so nervous  _ that this would ruin everything. His eyes shut tight, ready to be rejected, and flying open when he heard Roman’s soft laugh. Roman taking his hand and telling him,  _ “I love you for the person you are. Not the body you’re in. So I have a libido and you don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m perfectly fine being best friends with my left hand for the rest of my life.”  _ Virgil had turned red, and Roman had laughed and kissed his forehead before they turned back to watch Mulan. 

**_ Virgil: He always said he had no problem with it, that his left hand would be his best friend, and me being comfortable was more important than anything _ **

**_ Virgil: I guess he changed his mind  _ **

**_ Virgil: I’m just done  _ **

**_ Virgil: I’m sick of people thinking they can handle this and breaking my fucking heart when they realize they can’t  _ **

**_ Virgil: I’m done with relationships _ **

He knew this was a lot. He knew it wasn’t fair to dump this on Logan, the one person he knew who didn’t really  _ do  _ emotions, but he was the person who was here, and Virgil needed to get this out before he exploded. Or did something worse. The little box in the drawer of his bedside table sang to him, and he was acutely aware of where it was in proximity to his body, as if it was all that existed outside of his immediate bubble. 

**_ Logan: Wait, was this specifically about sexuality? _ **

**_ Logan: Sometimes people think they can handle dating asexual people, and they realize what it entails. _ **

**_ Logan: I'm sorry, but I have to sleep soon. I'm heading to Bakersfield tomorrow. Stay safe and don't do anything irrational please. _ **

**_ Logan: Text me tomorrow. _ **

**_ Virgil: Ok _ **

**__ **

Virgil shut his laptop, staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb. He felt like he was being washed away by the ocean, like he was drowning. He felt like he was being torn apart and burned alive and so many other things he couldn’t describe. 

He grabbed the box. 

_ ‘Don’t do anything irrational’. _

Loving someone as perfect as Roman was irrational. 

He let out a shaky sigh as the small glass shard split his skin. 

He falls apart.


	2. Kintsukuroi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SVirgil is trying to recover from his soul-shattering breakup with Roman, reminded that the world won’t stop for his depression. He learns to pick himself back up and gains a nugget of wisdom from an unlikely source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, just like chapter 1, this is based heavily on real life. The only real difference is that I never met a Patton.

To say that things got better would be a complete fucking lie. **  
**

In the remainder of his shitty summer vacation, Virgil only really left his bed to use the bathroom or eat when the hunger became unbearable. He slept a majority of the time, turning his back on the sunlight shining through his blinds in a mocking reminder that just because his world was falling apart, that didn’t mean the real world was. He was numb. And when he wasn’t numb he was heartbroken, or angry. He had no one to talk to about it because Logan wasn’t the most empathetic person out there and Roman still had him blocked.

Roman.

Virgil couldn’t stop asking himself what he’d done wrong. How had he screwed this up? He thought they were doing great, he thought Roman loved him. What was he talking about in that last message?

He wished he could just ask.

When he felt up to it, he brought up Tumblr on his phone to scroll through it and distract his mind. That became rather hard when half the posts were about people venting their problems and talking about how depressed they were, though. He remembered back when he was new to Tumblr and had just followed all of these blogs, how happy and dumb and funny everyone was. Now they all just logged on to use Tumblr as a personal diary.

He deleted his blog the next day.

Eventually he has to force himself out of bed to go to his fall classes. No matter how low he’s feeling or how much he hates himself he’s always been a good student, and it wouldn’t stop just because he was  ~~alonealonealone~~ a little depressed. His classes gave him plenty to focus on to distract himself, making his mind numb, empty of free thought and only capable of answering homework questions or performing basic tasks like showering and eating.

Logan still messaged him at least once a week to ask how he was doing, if he wanted to hang out, or just to make sure Virgil was still alive. Virgil hardly ever responded, and when he did it was short one- or two-word answers. He didn’t want to talk to Logan. He didn’t want to talk about what happened and how he was doing and how his thoughts were cognitive distortions. He knew Logan meant well, but he just… He didn’t think he could deal with that right now, so he was all but avoiding the other, claiming to be swamped with school.

It wasn’t a total lie; this was his last semester before fieldwork, so he’d needed to shove as many classes into these sixteen weeks as possible. Eighteen units, the absolute max they would allow, and even though that usually meant homework all day every day, he still found himself with some free time. God, he was so bored.

So he made a new Tumblr.

He felt bad abandoning the friends he’d made on his old Tumblr, but he wasn’t interested in the same things anymore and they were all so depressed and…. He just. Didn’t need that.

He spent an obsessively-long time trying to think of a new URL. For some reason, he found himself cycling through the nicknames Roman had given him over the months.

doom-and-gloom? Nope, taken.

dark-stormy-knight? Nah. Damn.

surley-temple? Taken.

jack-smellington? Taken.

Taken.

Taken.

Taken.

Taken.

God  _dammit_.

Virgil groaned, rubbing his forehead tiredly. Without thinking too much of it - it was probably taken - he types in ‘dr-gloom’.

Not taken.

He grins for the first time in weeks as he finishes going through the mandatory bullshit to set up his blog and find people to follow. Sure, he looks up some of the people he used to follow and follows them on this new blog, but he doesn’t tell them who he is.

This is a new beginning, after all.

He’s already decided that this blog will be more positive. He’ll be the positivity he wanted when he was hurting. It’s… out of character for him, but that doesn’t mean it can’t become a part of him. By being others’ positivity, he can be his own too.

As he finds more people to follow and his dash is filled with posts, something inside him - a gut instinct he’s learned not to ignore - tells him to message people. Not everyone; specific URLs stick out to him and he can’t help but feel like maybe the universe is telling him who needs his help. It’s stupid, and maybe a little egotistical, but after he sends the messages he feels…. Good. He sends good morning and good night messages to ten strangers-turned-family every day, regardless of how he feels inside, and little by little he finds that he’s not as depressed as he used to be. His daily ritual actually picks up his mood as he reads the responses from people and talks to them through PMs.

He does this for nearly two months before someone randomly messages him one day. The URL reads ‘pattoncakes94’, the icon most likely a selfie of possibly the cutest, bubbliest person Virgil has ever seen.

 **pattoncakes94  
** hey! just wanted to come say hi! i love those messages you send to people, it’s a great idea!

He takes entirely too long trying to come up with something to say that doesn’t sound too cheery, hyper, or creepy.

 **dr-gloom  
** uh  
thanks

He face-palms. He sounds like a jackass!

 **pattoncakes94  
** oh! sorry, i should probably introduce myself, huh?  
im patton (he/him/his)! im 24, i looooove cats and puns and cookies and sweaters, and im a taurus!

Virgil snorts. Oh my god, this guy’s a dork.

 **dr-gloom  
** thats cool  
uh  
im virgil  
20  
he/him/his  
i like music, nightmare before christmas, and deathnote  
and im a  
leo i think  
i dont really do the astrology thing

 **pattoncakes94  
** oh, thats okay! its just kinda fun, i dont actually believe in those daily astrology things  
what kinda music do you like?

The next few hours go like this, with the two men chatting about anything and everything. Virgil didn’t even know how two people could talk this long without the conversation feeling strained or boring. He hated small talk, but for some reason he found himself enjoying talking to Patton. The conversation flows seamlessly, Patton filling any possible pauses or lulls with his own little anecdotes or questions.

Over the next few weeks, whenever he’s in a bad mind space Virgil messages Patton. Patton never asks what’s bothering him or pressures him into opening up. Instead, he willingly provides a distraction and chats with Virgil until he’s laughing in the comfort of his room, heart light and mind clear. His favorite conversations were the ones that were the most random, but led to Virgil learning something new.

 **pattoncakes94  
** hey, you ever heard of kintsugi?  
also known as kintsukuroi

 **dr-gloom  
** no…?  
what is it

 **pattoncakes94**  
it’s this japanese thing, it’s so cool!  
basically they take broken pottery and fix it with gold, silver, or platinum instead of throwing it out!

 **dr-gloom  
** why?  
sounds like a waste of time

 **pattoncakes94**  
because they saw the beauty in those flaws  
in the cracks and breaks  
because just like people, it’s the blemishes that make them beautiful


End file.
